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Saturday, April 28, 2012
We stand behind them, but we are NOT silent!!
I wanted to add something to my post, after the fact.....things apparently got out of control. I made my initial post in response to a fellow mil-spouse, who I 100% support in her feelings...but apparently it got crazy and now Military Wives are going after each other. Why are we so divisive? If you agree, great. If you don't agree, that's great too. But in the midst of all this it has become about so much more than what it originally was. So I guess I feel like I want to clarify myself. I speak for me, and me alone. What originally had me so angry was the repeated emails to someone who didn't want them. The emails to someone who shouldn't have received emails, repeated emails! I do reviews, I've been pitched. I would expect respect and if I decline that should be it. I guess that was my problem with the situation. That's what got me so mad! Its reality tv, it wouldn't be there if there wasn't an interest. Clearly someone is watching these things, otherwise they wouldn't be around. Someone somewhere expressed an interest in this show, and more power to them if that's what they want to do. I personally wouldn't be involved, but that's me. I feel like there's a difference between doing your job and needlessly bothering people who clearly don't want to be involved. Some people just need to learn tact. That was my original message and I just want to make sure that gets across. Its a free country, people can do whatever they want to do. That's what our men are fighting for. There are so many ways to be divisive and I've seen them all, especially in the military world. From My branch is better than yours, to my husband deploys longer than yours....we are experiencing this so that means our experience is worse than yours. Its just sad and ridiculous. While some situations do deserve a certain amount of reverence and respect and far beyond my fairly normal military life, it looses its importance and respect when it is cheapened by "one-uping". If I was being harassed by someone I would hope that someone would stand up for me.
I had originally written this out probably about a week ago, I was mad about something but didn't know what to do with what I was feeling. Its a complicated situation, but a fellow mil-spouse bloggy friend got the ball rolling and I'm jumping on there with her. Before I present my own personal rant let me share hers. Please check it out, and you can read the email and more. Thanks girl!!
I'm sure now you're wondering what's got me so upset...because I can't even remember the last time I posted so much as a negative review of anything. I just usually don't. It was brought to my attention by my fellow blogger than an email has been appearing in the inboxes of many mil-spouse bloggers. The gist of the email is that a certain broadcast company (CBS) is contacting widowed mil-spouses about a tv show, basically a dating show. Let me first state that Erika is not a widow. So clearly this person is not doing their homework. In my mind I'm thinking "how the heck can you not tell that she's not a widow." Did they not event take a second to look? Next I'm thinking, I don't even know if I could figure out how to even approach someone about something like this that I didn't know. I mean, this is beyond disgusting. I wanted to respond to this news that I heard, so I began frantically searching the internet to verify this (not that I didn't believe Erika, but the fact that it seemed so ridiculous in my head that I had to see it with my own eyes). Its a real thing people and I just can't even begin to tell you how red and how hot my face got. I recently was touched in an indirect way by a mil-spouse who lost her husband. I remember getting the news and it was horrible. I instantly just couldn't breathe. All these thoughts just started swirling around in my head, "is she okay, I hope she's not alone, why did this have to happen," and the like. I have thought to myself, "what if this happened to me?" Its safe to say that this is a regular thought in the life of a mil-spouse, or anyone with a loved one serving in the military. I know it sounds morbid to civilians, but there are times when I think and pray about that specifically every day. I've actually thought in my head, "what would I do," "how would I tell my children." I have been fortunate to be able to read and hear the stories of amazing military spouses who are widows. There strength and amazing ability to stand strong and write about what they've experienced is beyond words to me. I could only hope that if I found myself in this situation that I could be even remotely like them.
My struggle with talking about this and getting mad about it was that I haven't walked in their shoes, I don't know. I imagine people saying, "who the heck are you, you don't know." No, I don't, but I call these women my friends. Not because Ive actually ever met them, or talked to them. They don't even know me. But there is a bond, an instant bond, so strong between military-spouses. I have recently become part of a group of blogging spouses. I haven't met any of these ladies but talking to them is like talking to someone that I've known for forever. There is so much that is shared experience between us, that there's no need for explanations, or questions. So, as Erika, and many others of us have said, "you mess with one of us, you mess with us all." It's a bond unlike any other. This show, and CBS, absolutely disgust me. If they don't want to be involved leave them alone. Incessantly bothering them is disrespectful and rude. This hits a little too close to home and you are sorely mistaken if you don't think they we aren't a force to be reckoned with! We will stand up, and we will speak up! I urge you to please read Erika's post and take action yourselves. I have never met Erika in person either, but I count her among one of my mil-spouse blogging buddies, someone I would drop anything for. That's what we do and that's what I'm doing now.